Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Black Jeeps are the new Coach Purse this season

The Top Ten reasons I love Jeeps more than Shoes, Clothes and Purses:

1. A pair of Manolo Blahniks are sexy, but they cost as much as a decent set of mud tires, and I can’t drive over a Suzuki Sidekick in a set of heels.

2. A nice set of mud tires goes with every outfit, and I still look hot in (and can fit into) my Jeep if I gain a few holiday pounds.

3. I can only fit a few items into one of those tiny Gucci purses. I can fit four rednecks, several pallets for the bonfire, a case of beer and a tool set in my Jeep. It even has a special pouch for my cell phone (thanks Dad).

4. If someone is stuck in the mud, I am not going to throw them the strap to my Coach purse and try to pull them out. Hell no.

5. If my Jimmy Choo shoe gets stuck in the mud, it does not come with a device that comes out of it, wraps around a tree and pulls me out. It’s really a safety issue.

6. My expensive clothes look better clean, my Jeep looks better muddy. Less work.

7. The accessories I can add to my Jeep are a hell of a lot cooler than the accessories I can add to an outfit, not to mention more functional. The added zip a necklace gives to that outfit is not nearly as exciting as the added horsepower that K&N cold air intake gives to the Jeep.

8. In clothing and Jeeps, topless means two very different things. Not that I’m against either one, but I get arrested a lot less often when the top is off the Jeep.

9. If the bumper sticker “If your gonna ride my ass, at least pull my hair” was a t-shirt, it may cause some problems… Same with “If I wanted a Hummer, I’d ask your Sister”.

10. Attaching a set of big metal bull balls to the back of your outfit is a lot less attractive than adding them to the back of your Jeep. And come on, you gotta attach those balls to something.

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