Friday, October 17, 2008

Just an aside... I Get Scared at Night.

Sometimes I get scared at night.
Being a military wife means spending a lot of nights alone in the house. We don’t have any kids, so it’s just little old me. So I have a patented danger-escape plan for nights I am home alone and the husband is at the Station. He always says the first thing I should do is call the Station (which is about 10 minutes away). He says they will call the police and a flood of protective Coasties, local police and sheriffs will arrive in minutes. I think maybe 911 would be a better choice, as I don’t want to risk the chance of a reservist answering the phone. The last thing I want in response to “SOMEONE’S BREAKING IN!!” is “wait… whose wife are you?”
So I’ve decided, regardless of which number I end up dialing, I’ve got to have my own plan. I thought about a gun. But any Coastie wife knows how often plans and schedules change and the husband comes through the door at all hours of the night. Accidentally blowing off a warning shot at my husband probably has some drawbacks. I had a friend offer to teach me some hand-to-hand combat using a knife or my hands. But if they are close enough for me to stab them, they are TOO close already. So I decided my best chance is escape. I sleep with my bedroom door locked, and I sleep next to a window with a big screen in it. I figure, if I hear someone come into the house, my locked door will give me enough time to grab my phone, open the window, bust through the screen and run away.

Real life application of the plan:
It was midnight and I was asleep. I hear the front door open. I awake immediately. Now, the door wasn’t kicked down, it was just opened… But I freeze in fear. I hear the figure stumbling around in the living room, and then they approach my door. They try the doorknob. My heart stops. Then comes a knock. I’ve lost all control of my actions and from somewhere inside me I hear a meek voice say “who is it?” And then my husband's voice booms from the other side of the door “It’s me. Why, were you expecting someone else?” We both start to laugh, but I can’t help but realize that my plan was a complete failure. I mean, most murderers don’t knock, but still! In my post-heart attack analysis, I couldn’t decide if I was too afraid to move or too afraid it really was my husband and I’d have to pay to replace the darn screen. But either way… I think I need a new plan.

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